we are the men we wanted to marry ...

When I was 18, marriage was the furthest thing from my mind. Seriously. I've never had all of those "a man is going to come and rescue you and fix all of the things" fantasies. In fact when I was 15 and dating my first "real" boyfriend {whatever that means} my mom asked me if I thought I would marry him, to which I replied "no!" and I promptly broke up with him. The next day {sorry Greg}.

I had dreams of being a singer, or a conductor {the female badasses of the music world}, or some kind of academic. I was sure I would grow up to be some kind of musical genius because *duh* I was a Dove {every Dove on the planet somehow magically knows exactly what that means. My god, we're an arrogant lot}. Honestly, at 18 I had no earthly idea what I wanted to be ... I just was never the marriage girl. That is, until I went to college with Jesus.

Now don't misunderstand me ~ I have no quarrels with Jesus. He's totally cool. But when you go to college with Him, there's this narrative that I had no idea existed. About how *this* is where you're going to find the man/woman/alien/zygote that "god has intended for you" ... the one who was made "to finish your duet" {Enchanted anyone??}. It's basically your life's work to find him/her/it. whatever. *shakeitoff*

So there I was 19 and 500 miles away from my family and within two years, I'd found myself a husband. *shudder* A man who, even at that time, I would have told you was not the love of my life. He was supposed to be a good guy at least ... And thus ensued several years of horror that we do not need to discuss here. At least not now.

I say all of that to say this ... We're living in the 21st century. And I was raised, I believe, by an accidental feminist who was herself raised {again} by an accidental feminist. Both of these women had very traditional designs on life. Children. Family. Religion. But there's an undertone of strength and individuality in both of their lives. Very, very strong. They're full of awesome, that Henrietta & Diane.

When I was still living in NC, there was a darling an old man *blesshisheart* who sang in the choir where I had my church job. {What is it about older southern men that makes them think they can say whatever they want to you? Or at least to me ...} He would often ask me "when are you going to find a man to take care of you?" To which I would reply "now, why on earth would I want to do that?"

Here's the thing ... I never could have fathomed what my life would become. And the things I would be capable of. I am a business owner? an entrepreneur? I suppose that's a word I'm more comfortable with right now. Pursuing 2 careers with equal passion. *becauseican* Believing that both of them will work. *beacausetheyare* And the women in my life ... they're doing the same things. And while I find myself increasingly receptive to the idea of romance ... I still can't help but wonder why it is in the 21st century there is still an undertone that there must be a man in your life to make you successful as a woman?

So several weeks ago? Months ago? I found this ... {can we take a moment and thank the baby Beyoncé for Pinterest?}

And sent it to a friend. One of my people. She's full of awesome. And we are building businesses. Being entrepreneurial badasses. Making art. Creating beauty.

And while I never really cared whether I got married or not, it resonated with me. Because we have become that thing. The prize was always finding a man who could "support you in the lifestyle to which you'd like to become accustomed." But in an age when women can be successful and celebrated because they're awesome ... well, here we are.

Here's to a year of being the men they wanted us to marry.